Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Jim is actually feeling considerably better by morning, and, conscious of the fact that Nathan threatened him with a date in the evening, he takes a ridiculously long shower, trying to wash off the stale feeling of sickness and the smell of several packs of cigarettes.

By five o'clock he's waiting at the kitchen table, doing some of the work he didn't manage to get done Friday night. He's still smoking, but it's only his third cigarette, and his soft shaggy hair is even somewhat combed, for once.

He's also wearing Nathan's favourite suit, the tweed one with the blue tie.

Player Name: Soujin
Player Age: 18
Contact Info: rainbowjehan@gmail.com/ BitterRusset on AIM
Time Zone: EST

Character: James Ewell Brown
Based on: Sagramore
Age: 35
Occupation: History professor.

Bio: Sagramore’s biography is brief and not overly detailed. The son of a Hungarian king and a Byzantine princess, he came to Britain and had his life saved by Mordred and Gawain, with whom he promptly fell in love (both of them). He failed to get married, carried on a tumultuous affair with Mordred, and finally was killed by him at the battle of Camlann.

Jim was born on the same day J.E.B. Stuart died, and his parents, staunch Southerners for all they were worth, did the right thing and named him accordingly (it was a fortunate coincidence that their last name was, in fact, Brown). Unfortunately, Jim, despite his best efforts, could not ever really get comfortable with his heritage.

His family was a decent middle-class family, blue-collar jobs but good luck, and he went to college, where he got a degree in history and education, which was thoroughly useless, and a good background in lying, which served him well; he went into PR with a company he didn’t care about, and was very good at it.

He got married once to a woman in the company; they had a child, divorced. He still visits his daughter sometimes, and sends cards and presents at the appropriate times. At some point, though, he realised that he hated everything he was doing, he hated Tennessee, he hated the company, he hated waiting around for a big opportunity that wasn’t coming to him. He quit his job and moved to New York (he ran away, but it’s a very true fact that you can’t run away from the South when it’s bred into you).

He’s new to Britannia, then; a disillusioned, somewhat bitter man who only a week ago got a job at the high school. He doesn’t have friends here yet, or a solid footing, but at least he’s trying to start honestly this time; at least no one here will ever call him Jeb.

Personality: Jim is kind of rough around the edges, but strangely earnest when you take his bitterness into consideration. He is polyamorous and pansexual, a fact which he doesn’t publicise (it never earned him any friends back home) (that’s not home any more, readjust!). He also has mild spastic diplegia, and walks with a limp.

He usually tells the truth these days.

His dreams will start soon.

Sample Post: Amanda’s birthday is next week. Jim wanders through the Hallmark, looking for a nice card--something that hits the careful balance between crass and sentimental, not too much of either, Jesus, his demographic doesn’t exist. He flicks through cards and envelopes and jokes and poems and finally picks one with anthropomorphic piñatas about to beat a man. That’ll do, appeal to her weird sense of humour. He wonders how old she is. He’s pretty sure thirteen, that would be about right (thirteen years, goddammit, and he thought everything was going to be fine when she was born, as close in his life as he’d ever been to thinking things would turn out perfectly).

He buys the card and smiles at the clerk, making an effort of it. Blend in, fit in, goddamn that twang (his mother always said it was a shame they were from Chattanooga, Tennessee being the ugliest of the Southern accents). There’s a jangle of change and he slips out again, trying to downplay the limp.

It’s really not much different here, not a big difference between here and Sewanee, where he moved when he married Laurie Jean, where Amanda went to Saint Andrew’s and they worried about whether her clothes would fit the dress code. It’s the same wherever you go. Everybody knows everything about him, where he’s from, that there’s something wrong with his legs, that he seems nice, that he teaches. Everybody knows everything about him, whether he’s north or south. It’s just that here they keep quiet. They know but they don’t say anything to you, just to each other.

Jim shakes his head. Don’t think like that. Just make you have to leave again, start all over. Might have been easier in the city, he thinks, if he had picked a city. But he’s here. He finds an outdoor table at the café down the street, and starts scrawling a message to Amanda in his spiky cursive.

Do what you have to. The past is back in Sewanee and Chattanooga, back in the muddy river and the fistfuls of churches and houses. Leave it alone.

Hey, kiddo, happy birthday. I can’t send you a pony, but I hope the week at horse camp makes up for it. I miss being there to see you growing up. Hope your mom’s making her chocolate cake for you--if not, I know a good lawyer.

Love, Dad.

Journal: fumblingtowards
Played By: Sam Trammell